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McDonalds…”A double cheeseburger and a medium soda, please.” (Alternative sandwich…Filet 'O Fish.)



Burger King…”One Wopper Jr. and a small soda, please.” (Alternative sandwich…BK Big Fish.)



Wendy’s…”A single with everything but pickle and a small soda, please.” (Alternative sandwich not needed.)



Taco Bell…”Two soft tacos and a medium soda, please.” (Alternative sandwich…D/A.)



This neatly wraps up my “Senior Citizen / Fast Food Trilogy”, but I think first a few explanations might be needed.



I'm sure you noticed how polite I am across the fast food spectrum and many of you noticed and are wondering why…WHY…would I order “Medium” sodas at McDonalds and Taco Bell, but order “Small” sodas at Burger King and Wendy’s?! It's not as crazy as it sounds and this is partly the government’s fault because they have not yet oppressed and regulated “Fast Food Cup Sizes”…see…the “Small Soda” at Wendy’s and Burger King are the same size as the “Medium Soda” at McDonalds and Taco Bell! So to receive a “Medium Soda” at Wendy’s and Burger King, you would have to order what would be a “Large Soda” at McDonalds and Taco Bell and God help you should you ever order a “Large Soda’ at either McDonalds, or Taco Bell, I’m not even sure it would fit comfortably in a vehicular dash cup holder and I cannot imagine what a ”Large Vehicular Interior Spillage” would look like!



So in ending...let’s be careful out there!

Waiting in line 15 minutes for a double cheeseburger and a small soda two consecutive nights



Excessive vehicles turning into the Drive-Thru, just before I do, more than three times in a week.



An overabundance of Drive-Thru patrons that need to read the menu for 5 minutes…”A double cheeseburger and a small soda, please.”…3 seconds flat.



1st window people that repeatedly don’t understand why I gave them $5.06 for a bill of $4.56 and look at me like I’m stupid.



1st or 2nd window people that give off the aura that my patronage is a bother.



Numerous “Cold Food” and / or “Wrong Food” incidents.



Multiple employees smiling and laughing at me when I’m being handed my order (I see you and now I have to pull over and check for spit.)



Not securing the flimsy top on my soda resulting in vehicular interior spillage.



And the newest thing, I’ve found, that will end a “Kick”…Inquire if I would like your “Senior Citizen Discount”.

See…I’m a “Kick” vampire…most times I can be incredibly predictable…sure…sure…I can be a wild card at times, just when you think you have me pegged...~CHOMP~... I’ll surprise you…but…for an incredible number of things, this is not the case…I am boring…B…O…R…I…N…G…I am a boring vampire! I have an addictive streak, if I like something, I will bite whatever it may be right into the ground…ah…I mystically sense you need an example…



Every night before work I will pick up a little fast food, a small bite, something minor so I don’t get hungry while I am there, at work. So I will get on a McDonalds “Kick”, I will order…every night…without fail…a double cheeseburger and a small soda…every night…all week…and maybe for months on end. I will see the same window workers over and over and over and after a time they come to expect me every night…I’ll occasionally hear a good natured “See you tomorrow night!”.



One “Kick” may be the aforementioned McDonalds…then it may change to Wendy’s and I’ll start going there for a long time…another time it may be Burger King getting my fast food attention…it does change…every so often.



Lately I’ve been on a Taco Bell “Kick”…”Two soft tacos and a medium soda please.”…YES…I am one polite bastard. It has gotten to the “They expect me” stage and one of the window gals is this cute little brunette, she looks exactly like Mila Kunis, the brunette in “That ‘70s Show”…not hard to look at! A definite plus compared to many I deal with.



The other night I ordered, once again…”Two soft tacos and a medium soda please.”…polite polite polite and then drove around to the window to start the usual exchange and it happened to be that little brunette at the window…I’m handing my money to her, exact amount, $4.39…she is handing me my soda… and it went like this…



Her…”Would you like the Taco Bell Senior Citizen Discount?”



Me…”………………………………"



Whoa…

COMMENTS

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FusRoDah
15:17 Mar 26 2017

lmao

It's not quite a kick in the nuts but it's close.

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MeanMeanMrTu
15:57 Mar 27 2017

Real close...

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